As Orcusville’s Dark & Benighted Webmaster, it is my privilege, nay contractually-obligated duty upon pain of death, to inform our readers that site contributor and word-lacky Josh Wagner has made available to you, those of you reading at home, the office, or on a mobile device while trapped in Baba Yaga’s root cellar, some of his previous webcomic achievements, pale and shallow mockeries of Lord Orcus’ genius though they may be.

And to think that it’s free of charge! Will you be able to appreciate this wealth of gratis entertainment, or will you fall victim to the behavior the more jaded underworld denizens have predicted: being apathetic dicks about it? I hope that you’ll enjoy the exploits of Fiction Clemens and The After-Lifers, as short as they are, and it will hopefully fill the hole during our early days of world conquest, while there isn’t a great wealth for you to see here.

And I did mention it’s free entertainment, right? That’s not to say that we won’t show up at your homes and collect payment at a later date… I’m logging your IP addresses and we’ll be knocking at your door sooner or later. You too, Swedes, Danes, and Turks. I see you and you can’t hide from our Infernal Internet Minions. I’d start saving up now, as our “free entertainment” happens to have a 23.99% APR on the unseen fees you’ll be paying very soon. And you don’t want to test the patience of our Credit Ogres… It wouldn’t be good. Just trust me.

In the meantime, try not to think about it while you read the Fiction Clemens and After-Lifers backlog. Just enjoy yourself and feel free to drop us a comment or email through the various forms provided so generously by Lord Orcus and manned by both myself and a dilligent team of slaves twenty-four hours a day. It’ll help us pass the time and get our minds off the constant screaming and lamenting, and it’ll help you to forget about the clause in our Terms Of Service which states that you agree to a number of additional binding legal terms just by looking at the words on the site. Our lawyers say it’s totally legit and they’re top-notch, so they’d know.

So enjoy Orcusville and take care of yourself… We don’t want you to get hurt and lose any wages (that we might be entitled to). And take care of those organs. We’ll be around to harvest a few of those later, as well.

– Ryan Speck

Yes, “Strip Factory”. I prefer that over “Slave Pits”. Although the human called “Speck” did have a point when he mentioned something earlier about Slave Pits. What it was, I don’t know. I hardly ever listen to him… her? It. I never listen to it.

The word is from him and the “Steve”-designated manling is that there are strips aplenty already and that we should be having a daily comic every day through Saturday. Maybe even longer! It is unknown if we will have a regular schedule established any time soon. But if we do, it will have nothing to do with what any of you mortals out there say.

Although I do like it when you call me pretty.

Non-mortal beings are welcome to give me suggestions. I’ll take them into consideration. Maybe. Special notice is paid to those associated with undeadism and such.

Look at this! I told those fools to clean up the mess left behind by the local kobold rugby team when they were touring my lair. Little bastards. Damn mortal slaves.

Off to have Vis rack someone. Ta!

While everyone else is away doing con-related things, I took this opportunity to try out a new beta of ComicPress, which I whipped into shape with the best of my often-limited abilities.

Hopefully everything is now easily readable and works properly. If not, please leave a comment on this item (which means you’ll actually have to come to the page to read this, won’t you, all you dirty feed readers?) and tell me what it is that doesn’t quite work for you. Maybe I can fix it.

Or maybe we’ll reach an impasse regarding aesthetics. You never can tell.

You will soon be returned to your normal Orcusville programming.

– Ryan