As Orcusville’s Dark & Benighted Webmaster, it is my privilege, nay contractually-obligated duty upon pain of death, to inform our readers that site contributor and word-lacky Josh Wagner has made available to you, those of you reading at home, the office, or on a mobile device while trapped in Baba Yaga’s root cellar, some of his previous webcomic achievements, pale and shallow mockeries of Lord Orcus’ genius though they may be.

And to think that it’s free of charge! Will you be able to appreciate this wealth of gratis entertainment, or will you fall victim to the behavior the more jaded underworld denizens have predicted: being apathetic dicks about it? I hope that you’ll enjoy the exploits of Fiction Clemens and The After-Lifers, as short as they are, and it will hopefully fill the hole during our early days of world conquest, while there isn’t a great wealth for you to see here.

And I did mention it’s free entertainment, right? That’s not to say that we won’t show up at your homes and collect payment at a later date… I’m logging your IP addresses and we’ll be knocking at your door sooner or later. You too, Swedes, Danes, and Turks. I see you and you can’t hide from our Infernal Internet Minions. I’d start saving up now, as our “free entertainment” happens to have a 23.99% APR on the unseen fees you’ll be paying very soon. And you don’t want to test the patience of our Credit Ogres… It wouldn’t be good. Just trust me.

In the meantime, try not to think about it while you read the Fiction Clemens and After-Lifers backlog. Just enjoy yourself and feel free to drop us a comment or email through the various forms provided so generously by Lord Orcus and manned by both myself and a dilligent team of slaves twenty-four hours a day. It’ll help us pass the time and get our minds off the constant screaming and lamenting, and it’ll help you to forget about the clause in our Terms Of Service which states that you agree to a number of additional binding legal terms just by looking at the words on the site. Our lawyers say it’s totally legit and they’re top-notch, so they’d know.

So enjoy Orcusville and take care of yourself… We don’t want you to get hurt and lose any wages (that we might be entitled to). And take care of those organs. We’ll be around to harvest a few of those later, as well.

– Ryan Speck

Tags: fiction clemens, site news, the after-lifers, updates

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 26th, 2008 at 8:37 am and is filed under Blog. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.